An Open Letter to the Future Love of my Life

To Whom It May Concern (you lucky bastard!),


I don't know you yet. But I know you're out there somewhere. I am sure you are smart and witty and funny and kind. And you'd have the sense of humor of a 12-year old. Hehe. I hope you smell nice too. I'm sure you are not a jejemon because I will not be the least bit attracted to you if you are, jejeje! 

 

I’ve been living alone for the past couple of years - doing things around the house on my own, paying bills, buying the furniture. Eventhough I like doing these things on my own, I would appreciate it if you can take out the garbage for me every night. I don’t like taking out wet garbage, it grosses me out. I can do the sweeping of the floor and the washing of the dishes with a smile, but not that. I would love you ten thousand times more for it J

I like to cook and experiment in the kitchen. I have more failed experiments than successful ones though. If my experiment tastes like crap, please please please tell it to my face. Don’t go saying “Oh baby, you’re a wonderful cook!” just to please me. I want honesty in all areas of our relationship, most especially when it comes to sex and my cooking. Hahaha! I wouldn’ take offense if you tell me it tastes like cardboard, but please say it in a nice way in order to soften the blow. You can say “Uhmmm baby, you look extremely sexy and pretty tonight but your chicken stew tastes like chicken shit!” - stress on the sexy and pretty part so I won't feel bad. I want to feed you with my orgasmic home-cooked meals that’s why I would really appreciate an honest-to-goodness feedback from you.

I love surprises. No matter how self-sufficient of a woman I am, I would also love for you to shower me with surprises once in awhile. It can be as cheap as siopao from Aling Patring’s sari-sari store or as expensive as that newest techy gadget in town, either way it will make me happy. (But of course, the latter would make me MORE happy! Hahaha) I would appreciate it even more if you give surprises on days when we are not celebrating anything at all.

I am a big ball of mush and I hope you don’t find it weird if I give/send you letters of affection (everyday) once in awhile. I also love sending ‘kilig’ messages thru SMS. And I might sometimes call you during your lunchtime to have hot steamy phonesex (hahaha). I can be sweet and crazy and spontaneous. When I give you sandwich for your baon, please check the inside ASAP, because sometimes I like to insert notes in between the patty. Yes, I told you I’m crazy J We will have a lot of fun, crazy times in store so be ready!

In times when I am quiet, don’t fret. There’s nothing wrong with me. There are moments when I would just like to sit and stay silent. Consider this as your “happy hour” because I would not mind if you do your own things too like watch basketball on TV or play PS3. Or you can go online and play computer games, I don’t care. But my silent episodes usually last for 2 hours max, so after 2 hours, I hope you don’t mind if I tell you to stop whatever it is you are doing so we can cuddle. J

Oh, cuddling, how I love thee! I am super malambing and I hope you don’t mind if I make you ‘tsansing’ all the time or sit on your lap or give you a full kiss on the lips (even when we have guests around. LOL!).  It’s my way of showing you how much I appreciate you for the man that you are. And if you get lucky, I just might give you a ahemmmm. Think open mic sessions every night. Hahaha! It would really bruise my ego if you watch porn all by yourself. So please never ever do that. Let’s watch it together. Who knows, I might learn a trick or two and use it on you. LOL.

I would like you to know that your princess is a moody son of a bitch. I have my ‘bright, sunshin-y’ moments and I have my ‘emo’ moments too and both of these moments you can experience in a span of 5minutes. Hahaha! Don’t call my mom and tell her that I’m going crazy. I might have had a bad day at work or maybe it’s the time of the month. On times like this, RUN! Hahaha! Seriously, when I cry for no reason, just hold me tight and kiss me and tell me wonderful things. Because no matter how strong I am, I have my weak episodes too and I would love it if you will be by my side to tell me that everything will be okay.

I’m sure we’d have fights – both major and petty and we’ll have days when we just want to cut each other's throat (HAHAHA). Let’s try not to shout at each other, okay? Let’s sit and talk our problems through and discuss it like the mature adults that we are. And honey, If I tell you “I’m okay” after a fight, please know that I am NOT okay. You don’t have to worry about it because I will be okay in the morning. Just hug me tight the entire night. (Make-up sex is preferred but not required.)

Our life will not always be peachy, my handsome sugarpop. But no matter how ugly it gets (I hope not), always remember that our love and commitment to stay together will help us through the rough times. Even during these times, please know that I will still serve you orgasmic meals and make love to you like the vixen of a woman that I am. I would still cuddle and make ‘tsansing’ to you. I will be here no matter how shitty. Because you are wonderful and you are kind and you are generous and you are everything that I want in a man.

Lastly, while I am waiting for you to come into my life, I hope you don’t mind if I go out on dates once in awhile. Because who knows, one of them might be you. Don’t worry, if that happens, we’ll know. J

Take care alright?

P.S. Please wear nice, clean shoes.

Your Unpure One,

-=K=-