Monday, July 26, 2010

An Open Letter to the Future Love of my Life

To Whom It May Concern (you lucky bastard!),

I don't know you yet. But I know you're out there somewhere. I am sure you are smart and witty and funny and kind. And you'd have the sense of humor of a 12-year old. Hehe. I hope you smell nice too. I'm sure you are not a jejemon because I will not be the least bit attracted to you if you are, jejeje! 

I’ve been living alone for the past couple of years - doing things around the house on my own, paying bills, buying the furniture. Eventhough I like doing these things on my own, I would appreciate it if you can take out the garbage for me every night. I don’t like taking out wet garbage, it grosses me out. I can do the sweeping of the floor and the washing of the dishes with a smile, but not that. I would love you ten thousand times more for it J

I like to cook and experiment in the kitchen. I have more failed experiments than successful ones though. If my experiment tastes like crap, please please please tell it to my face. Don’t go saying “Oh baby, you’re a wonderful cook!” just to please me. I want honesty in all areas of our relationship, most especially when it comes to sex and my cooking. Hahaha! I wouldn’ take offense if you tell me it tastes like cardboard, but please say it in a nice way in order to soften the blow. You can say “Uhmmm baby, you look extremely sexy and pretty tonight but your chicken stew tastes like chicken shit!” - stress on the sexy and pretty part so I won't feel bad. I want to feed you with my orgasmic home-cooked meals that’s why I would really appreciate an honest-to-goodness feedback from you.

I love surprises. No matter how self-sufficient of a woman I am, I would also love for you to shower me with surprises once in awhile. It can be as cheap as siopao from Aling Patring’s sari-sari store or as expensive as that newest techy gadget in town, either way it will make me happy. (But of course, the latter would make me MORE happy! Hahaha) I would appreciate it even more if you give surprises on days when we are not celebrating anything at all.

I am a big ball of mush and I hope you don’t find it weird if I give/send you letters of affection (everyday) once in awhile. I also love sending ‘kilig’ messages thru SMS. And I might sometimes call you during your lunchtime to have hot steamy phonesex (hahaha). I can be sweet and crazy and spontaneous. When I give you sandwich for your baon, please check the inside ASAP, because sometimes I like to insert notes in between the patty. Yes, I told you I’m crazy J We will have a lot of fun, crazy times in store so be ready!

In times when I am quiet, don’t fret. There’s nothing wrong with me. There are moments when I would just like to sit and stay silent. Consider this as your “happy hour” because I would not mind if you do your own things too like watch basketball on TV or play PS3. Or you can go online and play computer games, I don’t care. But my silent episodes usually last for 2 hours max, so after 2 hours, I hope you don’t mind if I tell you to stop whatever it is you are doing so we can cuddle. J

Oh, cuddling, how I love thee! I am super malambing and I hope you don’t mind if I make you ‘tsansing’ all the time or sit on your lap or give you a full kiss on the lips (even when we have guests around. LOL!).  It’s my way of showing you how much I appreciate you for the man that you are. And if you get lucky, I just might give you a ahemmmm. Think open mic sessions every night. Hahaha! It would really bruise my ego if you watch porn all by yourself. So please never ever do that. Let’s watch it together. Who knows, I might learn a trick or two and use it on you. LOL.

I would like you to know that your princess is a moody son of a bitch. I have my ‘bright, sunshin-y’ moments and I have my ‘emo’ moments too and both of these moments you can experience in a span of 5minutes. Hahaha! Don’t call my mom and tell her that I’m going crazy. I might have had a bad day at work or maybe it’s the time of the month. On times like this, RUN! Hahaha! Seriously, when I cry for no reason, just hold me tight and kiss me and tell me wonderful things. Because no matter how strong I am, I have my weak episodes too and I would love it if you will be by my side to tell me that everything will be okay.

I’m sure we’d have fights – both major and petty and we’ll have days when we just want to cut each other's throat (HAHAHA). Let’s try not to shout at each other, okay? Let’s sit and talk our problems through and discuss it like the mature adults that we are. And honey, If I tell you “I’m okay” after a fight, please know that I am NOT okay. You don’t have to worry about it because I will be okay in the morning. Just hug me tight the entire night. (Make-up sex is preferred but not required.)

Our life will not always be peachy, my handsome sugarpop. But no matter how ugly it gets (I hope not), always remember that our love and commitment to stay together will help us through the rough times. Even during these times, please know that I will still serve you orgasmic meals and make love to you like the vixen of a woman that I am. I would still cuddle and make ‘tsansing’ to you. I will be here no matter how shitty. Because you are wonderful and you are kind and you are generous and you are everything that I want in a man.

Lastly, while I am waiting for you to come into my life, I hope you don’t mind if I go out on dates once in awhile. Because who knows, one of them might be you. Don’t worry, if that happens, we’ll know. J

Take care alright?

P.S. Please wear nice, clean shoes.

Your Unpure One,



Anonymous said...

Don't worry Khaye, he will come sooner or later. You just have to wait.

Things have their own way of turning out. That I'm sure of. Just think of all the bad break-ups as necessary experience so when he comes around, you'd be ready.

Cheer up and get some sleep. I'm sure you're tired from working all night.



Anonymous said...

hahaha.. maya ko na basahin dahil late na ako sa aking klase. may gudness.. so sexy!! ^_^


-=K=- said...

Thanks Nozzie. Yup I'm okay with waiting. Dating on the side while waiting for him to come. :) Hope your week will turn out great! Belated Happy Bortdey.

Marvs - ingat on your way to class. Good morning.

Anonymous said...

And I do hope you realize it when he's right in front of you. . . And please, oh please, don't go for married men like me. Hehehe.

I do hope you're right. All I see right now are deadlines and I still can't seem to make my mind work. My cheap employer wants me to do around 85% to 90% of her work but gives me the rate of an average encoder and would keep forgetting about my salary. How would I get inspired?

Nice new banner by the way. I think it's hot you bad, bad girl. Now, I'm having unpure thoughts. Lol!

Since you just mentioned dating, maybe you'd agree to a friendly date over coffee or frap when things settle down? (Emphasis on "friendly". Not all dates are romantic, y'know.)

-=K=- said...

Non-negotiable #1 - HE must be SINGLE and UNATTACHED. Hehe. But yeah, i'm an *MMM and it's not funny.

Yes, let's invite Donds and Neckro and all the other conspirators for a friendly group date over coffee and karaoke! :D Haha!

*Married Man Magnet

Anonymous said...

Be flattered. You're an MMM because you're hot. (That and because you post pics on your blog wearing very little clothing but don't mind them and just let them drool. You don't have to change your personality just because of what others think.

I smell an EB!!! Gteat! I'll get to meet all the Blog Maesters. I just hope I get enough funds. Lol!

WTF! my verification code is "tonali". Weird, sounds like "tinali", a variety of fighting cock which never made it to the arena but made it into the cooking pot. :)

kikilabotz said...

ahem ahem ahem (ubo ubo ubo) yun lang...

Anonymous said...

by a strange coincidence, i chanced on cougar town after reading your blog, the end of one episode in which some people who shouldn't have ended up together did end up with each other (that's what i'd like to believe it was about, lol).

one of the characters said, "if it's someone you've been waiting for, go for it."

a light went on in my head. i rasta my case. hahahaha!

cougar bait

Anonymous said...

Khaye, marami akong Oregano dito. Mukhang malala na yang ubo na yan. Kawawa naman mga fans mo pag nawala ka. hehehe. :P

-=K=- said...

Cougar Town is bad for you. Me sez you stop watching it. Ok? :) Haha!

Jepoy said...

interesting would you like to have dinner sometime?! hehhehehe

Don Dee said...

Why does this post remind me of the radio ad with the punchline "This man does not exist"? Hahaha...

-=K=- said...

Jepoy - hahaha! flirt much? LOL!

Donds - tsk, wag kang nega! Haha! May ganyan pa. LOL. Wishful thinking.

Anonymous said...

i'm sure there's somebody out there who loves you. Yay.

Often, life doesn't bring us what we wish for, packaged as we want it to be.

It may come in a form different from what we had in mind. But the substance may be there anyway.

Just an alternative thought.

-=K=- said...

Anonymous - awwwww. :) No comment. LOL!

Anonymous said...

Hey, nice pics! Sort of like the faces of Eve, but very real. And you are such a beauty in a down-to-earth way. i join the line of love-struck boys who would drop their pants for you. Yay! :)

Unni-gl4ze^_^ said...

napadaan~wow~nice post...we’ll have days when we just want to cut each other's throat -->natwa lng ako jan sa line na yan haha~anywys sana dumating na si c lucky bastard mo este lucky guy mo hehe~~
have a great weekend^^

-=K=- said...

Unni - haha, ayos ba? Parang 'korean life' mo diba? LOL! Dramarama.

Unni-gl4ze^_^ said...

hunga eh saya saya,,,waaahh kelan kaya ako makkasulat ng bonggang bonggang english n post dumugo ilong ko saglit sa blog mo~~hehe,,,btw ok lng ba link ko blog mo?para naman maupdate ako kung may new post ka hehe,,thanks~

dwizzt said...

sana makita mo na siya maam.. anyway tawang-tawa ako sa post nito..hahahahahaah... pa-link ha? :D