Monday, May 31, 2010

If This Isn't The World's Biggest Tits, I Don't Know What Is!!!

I always write stuff about men's dingdongs (read posts here and here and here.) but have not had a post yet about a woman's airbags - you know, those 2 big baloneys up there. (Yes, I'm trying my best to be prude. NOT!) Okay, to be fair to my species, this post is all about our twin bazookas. Hehehe.

I learned just today that there's a breast size KKK. Fuck! Triple K's? Oh yes, I can't belive it too. All along I thought triple D's were the largest bra size ever. But Triple K? Holysweetmercifulmotherofcrap! I feel so teeny tiny! My self-esteem has taken a deep plunge in the abyss! Mine doesnt even reach an A! Well it's an A okay but it's more of an 'a'. Yeah small letter, it is. Hahaha! So you can just imagine how flabbergasted (I don't even know what that word means, i just used it because it sounds exagerrated. LOL!) I was when I learned about this!

You know who owns a pair of this Triple K's? Read on you lazy bitch! :)

28-year-old Sheyla Hershey of Brazil is the proud owner of the world's largest breasts -- with a staggering, life-threatening, and unfortunately-named bra size of 38KKK.

 Please be merciful and give me just a tiny bit of that, please? Please? Please? *LOL*

In May, ABC News reported that Hershey's breasts were 34 FFF after eight surgeries and one gallon of silicone. But she wasn't done yet. On her way to achieving her dream, she encountered certain roadblocks, like Texas law. The state limits the amount of silicone that one person put in their body because the implants could kill her. So she headed to Brazil, which has no such restrictions, and walked away with the breasts of her dreams.

Sheyla Hershey, born Sheyla Almeida Hershey, singer, dancer, actress and model resides in Houston, Texas. Sheyla is 5'3" and is a talent on the rise. She is a twenty-eight year old Sagittarius. Sheyla is a proud wife and mother. Sheyla was born in Brazil and likes to travel. Sheyla is fluent in Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, Chinese and English.

Sheyla takes her craft seriously in that she has had over 18 plastic surgeries, mostly to her breast, but also her nose, lips and buttocks. She is currently at a breast size of KKK. For this, she has been awarded with the Brazilian equivalent of the Guinness Book of World records award.

I can't shaker her image off my head. LOL. Disturbing much.

The Unpure Lolita,


[Here's a link to her website]

I Want One..... NOT!

This picture had me rolling on the floor with laughter ten times over. :)

What can I do? I just love everything non-sense. LOL. Have a great start of the week everyone!

The Unpure Girl Who Wishes to have a Bracelet like that,


Sunday, May 30, 2010

Call of the Red

It’s not normal for me to feel sad and melancholic out of the blue. I mean I was perfectly fine and chirpy yesterday morning and come 9pm last night, my mood started to change. Weird, right?  I just knew something was wrong with me. And true to my inkling, the culprit surfaced in no time – it was the Call of the Red. LOL. I don’t like it when my hormones are running crazy. It makes me feel super moody. Sigh. Of course you guys can’t relate because you don’t get to experience this every month. Good for you!
Anyway, I went to work today. Yes, on a Sunday no less. And that makes me a certified loser, I know. Month-ends are really a pain in the bun. Much like getting an anal sans the lubricant. Ouch! There are deadlines that need to be addressed and quotas that need to be met. Welcome to the real world! :)
And oh, I got my new baby today. I love working with complicated things and this baby of mine has a dial for both manual and automatic operation that I don’t even know where to begin. I hate reading manuals, tsk tsk tsk. Women! Hehehehe.
Canon SX120 IS

Yay! I am not sad anymore. Thank you Canon for easing my loneliness. LOL. 

Do you know where I can buy a pouch for this model? The store where I got it doesnt sell any.

The Unpure Paparazzi,


Saturday, May 29, 2010


I feel strangely melancholic tonight. A visit to my *"happy place"  plus a yummy icecream treat from the Iceberg's nearby is badly needed in times like this. Gotta replenish 'em good vibes.


© Potsim And Pikachu 
I was once sad and lonely,
Having nobody to comfort me,
So I wore a mask that always smiled;
To hide my feelings behind a lie.

Before long, I had many friends;
With my mask, I was one of them.
But deep inside, I still felt empty,
Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night
For I designed my mask to hide the lies.
Nobody could see the pain I was feeling
For I designed my mask to be laughing.

Behind all the smiles were the tears
And behind all the comfort were the fears.
Everything you think you see,
Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day,
I was slowly dying.
I couldn't go on,
There was something missing..

Until now I'm still searching
For the thing that'll stop my crying.
For someone who'll erase my fears,
For the person who'll wipe my tears.

But till then I'll keep on smiling.
Hiding behind this mask I'm wearing.
Hoping one day I can smile,
Till then, I'll be here.. waiting.

The Unpure Emotera,


*Perpetual Adoration in St. Paul the Apostle, Timog

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Things That Make Me Happppyyyyy

1. Being with my family makes me happy. I love hanging out with my sibs and their kids. There's no greater feeling than playing with my nieces and nephews and teasing them to the point when they're almost crying. I love it! Hehehehe!

2. I don't have a landline at home since I don't see any use for it.  I usually stay at work longer than I should  so it's more convenient for friends and family to reach me thru my mobile phone. On days when I get hungry, I just order through McDonald's online.Their fast and efficient system makes me happy.

3. Clean public restrooms make me happy. I'm not finicky but who would want to sit in a dirty, soiled toilet seat, right?

 4. Colorful things make me happy! I love colorssssss! I can not live in a black and white world! I like 'em loud and vibrant - from clothes to shoes to flowers. I love, love, love them in different colors! :)

 If you think these are super colorful.. boy, you haven't seen my unit yet! LOL! 

My unit's a mad house! I have orange walls with yellow accent, my cabinets are color(ed) green and my bedroom's in pink! Hehehe! It's crazy and funky - just the way I like it! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

5. Blogging makes me happy. Isn't it obvious? 

6. Walkalators make me happy! How I wish there's a walkator outside my unit all the way to the office. That would be heavenly!

7. Ox brain and isaw and balut make me happy! It's bad for my health I know. But what can I do? Diba nga they say, 'kung ano yung madumi, yun yung masarap?' Hahaha! [Translation: the dirtier the food, the tastier!]

8. Making small talk with people in the airport (while waiting for my flight) makes me happy.  I met this nice girl who also loves to blog. You can check out all her travel photos here

9. Being with my friends makes me happy. There's nothing like catching up with my girlfriends and swapping sappy life and love stories over margarita, beer, and shots of blowjob. Wait, did I say blowjob? =P

That's the Unpure One in the middle with 2 of my best galpals ♥ ♥ ♥ (Yup, the saying's true - Pretty girls flock together. LOL!)
10. Perfect jumpshots make me happy! I love being all silly and goofy in front of the camera and lately, me and my friends have been practicing real hard to take the perfect jumpshot. Hehe. Shallow, right? I don't care because it makes me happy =)

 Super un-glamorous I know, but what the heck! I'm happy! *smile*

How about you, what makes you happy? 

The Unpure Jumpshot Expert,


[P.S.  I'm busy with work this week. I'll blog about my China trip in the next few days.]

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Don't Miss Me Too Much

...i'll be going to China and will be back Wednesday next week. I haven't really done any research on where we want to go and how we are going to get there. Wish me and my friends luck considering that not many people there speak English or Engrish... LOL!

As the saying goes, "Bahala na si Batman!" (Translation: Let Batman do his job!) [Hahahaha! Freakin' translation!]

In the meantime, anyone who can guess what the below phrase means will get a prize from me :)

吻我的屁股 Wěn wǒ de pìgu

Have a great week ahead everyone!

The Unpure Siomai-lover,


Monday, May 17, 2010

My Unpure Pick of the Week : SKINGLOW

It is hard to face your problem especially if the problem is your face. 
I know this much is true. Hehe. It's a good thing that I didnt have to deal with pimples or acne during my growing up years BUT, wait there's more, LOL... instead of these, I have to deal with uneven blotches on my face particularly on my forehead! WTF right? Maybe because it's this part of the face that is more exposed to the sun. Big SIGH. I live in super-freaking-duper-tropical-hot Manila so avoiding the sun is really not an option. It's either I become a hermit or I live somewhere far and cold like Switzerland.

I have consulted several dermatologists about this problem and they have always recommended the same things - chemical peels and other products that are hydroquinone-loaded. I get instant results with hydroquinone, don't get me wrong, but as soon as you stop using the product the blotches come back. Plus I can't take all the redness and peeling and itching that comes with it. :( (Yes, It's hard to be a girl.)

I have recently discovered a skincare line that aims to improve the over-all complexion of the face (and neck) without the use of hydroquinone. The products do not contain harsh chemicals that it can also be *used by pregnant women. This product doesn't offer instant results but what it does is it gradually improves the texture and the elasticity of your skin from the inside out.

This picture was taken with no make-up. Look how my forehead is darker than the rest of my face, right? On top of that, my T-zone area has a tendency to be a bit oily especially in the afternoon when the sun is at its hottest!
I was recommended to use the orange soap everytime I wash my face and then apply the Collagen Cream plus the Sunblock during the day and the Whitening Cream at night. Wow, no astringents or clarifying lotions to add? Nice! :) Perfect for lazy people like.....uhmmm.. ME! At least all I had to do is wipe the cream and go! Hehe!

Since I work at night, I use the daycream at night and the night cream during the day. Hehe, funny right? But it's true. I can see a gradual improvement on my skin (particularly my freaking-f*cked-up forehead! Haha) after using the product for 5 days.  I like that it doesn't give me scandalous-Edward Cullen-pale white skin overnight. That way, the improvement is more natural and not over-bearing.

I like using their sunblock (with SPF30) because it is in a clear-gel form and it is not oily and sticky. It gives my face the right amount of sun-protection and the right amount of gloss that makes my face look dewy. And best of all, it doesn't leave a white cast that will make me look like a walking 'espasol'. Hahaha!

I didn't have any qualms about trying the product (eventhough it has not been released in the market yet) because it is BFAD approved.  I initially told myself that I'd only test-run this product for 10 days but because I am seeing good results, I am going to continue this regimen.

I have friends coming up to me lately to say that my skin looks bright and healthy. And that is exactly what I want to achieve. Yay! And by the way, this product doesn't cause hair shortening, I just coincidentally had a haircut during my self-imposed trial period. Hehehe.

My Unpure Verdict : This product doesn't guarantee overnight result but it surely does what it says it will do.Give this product a try and notice how your skin texture and radiance will improve in a couple of weeks.

 (I already used half of the soap before I remembered to take a picture of the product! Haha! Excited much?)


Gmacs Cosmetic Distributor
Karina Building 33 Shaw Blvd.
Pasig City
Telephone # 9100023

[You can email the blog owner for further questions/inquiries regarding the product.]

* It is highly-recommended for pregnant women to consult with their doctors prior to the use of this product just to be on the safe side. *

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Yes, I'm still alive!

OMG. I have been super busy lately. Busy with work, busy with my 'rakets', busy being busy. I haven't gone online for the past few days and it felt like forevah. So here's what I have been doing while I was M.I.A.

I was busy bonding with the whole caboodle. My family went to this resort somewhere in Antipolo.  My nieces and nephews swam to their heart's content, while me and my siblings lazed around doing nothing. It's nice to just sit and talk and bond over lots and lots of food! Heaven! :)

Kissing the frog, errrr, the pig! :D

Nagpicnic sa semento! I love it! Haha! (Me with my fab sisters and my one and only brotha')

I went to Makati this week to follow-up on something. I rarely go to that side of town because it's quite far from where I live. So aside from my real itinerary, I made the most out of my trip there yesterday. (LOL, probinsyanang-probinsyana lang) I met up with my friend for lunch and did alot of window-shopping. Haha! I feel so mature because I didn't give in to my shopping urges! Yeheyyyyyyyyyy! (plus, I really didn't have money to burn. Haha!)

I decided to take the C5 route on my way home instead of braving the traffic in Edsa. And while I was in the Fort, I decided to meet up with my friend for coffee.  There's this cafe in Market! Market! called Cafe de Lipa that serves cool Pinoy-concocted coffee (made from Barako beans, i think). It's nice to be in a different environment once in awhile. Somewhere where there are lots of buildings and lots of nice-looking people. I live in the boondocks and there's a shortage of those here. LOL!

And oh, I had a haircut. I did the big chop last Friday. The summer heat made me do it! I haven't sported a short 'do in a long while so it's quite liberating. At least all I had to do is shampoo and go. No more hours wasted on blow-drying. (I'd rather blow other things than my hair, you know! Hahahahahaha)

And you, how'd your week go?

The Unpure Probinsyana,


Sunday, May 9, 2010


Hot, strangely seductive, ridiculously smart, and has a cute smile. Now, that's what I call boyfriend, errrr, President-material. :)

For all the GREEN-minded schmucks out there, let's go and support Team Green!

Please vote wisely tomorrow, my dear friends!

Friday, May 7, 2010


I know that you guys are tired of hearing me rant about not having enough sleep on most days, right? Well, this is one of those days.. so hear it again! "I am soooooo tired and sleepy today!" There you go. Hehe. Here's why:

I went to the Chinese Consulate Office to apply for a Chinese Visa. I arrived there around 10:20AM.  I got a number from the guard and asked for an application form.

 They were serving number 954.

And I was number 147. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

By the time my turn came, it was already 3 o'clock in the afternoooooon! Whoa! So now I have to go to work again in a couple of hours with barely enough sleep! Sigh. But it's okay. There's plenty of time for me to sleep in Beijing. LOL.

P.S. I was told to come back May 13th and pay P1,400 for a single-entry Tourist Visa.
P.P.S. The guy in window#4 looked cute. =) Hehehe!

You can get your Chinese Visa here:

China Consular Office
Address: 2nd & 3rd Floor, the World Center, 330 Sen. Gil J. Puyat Avenue, Makati City, Metro Manila, Philippines

Mondays to Fridays 9am to 11am 

Please click here for a list of the requirements needed. 
The Unpure Sleepy One,


Monday, May 3, 2010


I have a lot of crazy male friends and over the years, I have grown accustomed to their crazy, nonsense boy talks. LOL. What do they usually talk about? Aside from sex you mean? Hmmmm... well, virtually nothing else. Hahaha! I always end up in stitches when they talk about the size of their willies.

I even remember one time when a friend described his pecker as "ga-maling" [like the can of a luncheon meat]. Hahaha! WTF! Super laughtrip! That's his way of saying that his member has a wide girth and a thick base. LOL!

Sigh. Men and their barbaric ways. Hahaha! So anyway, to put an end to all these claims about having "the longest", or the "fattest", or the "biggest" man-meat, there's this cool online site called where you can purchase this thing called Condometric.

What is Condometric?

Condometric is the first prophylactic that measures and shows off the penis’ length. Condometric prophylactics are made of natural rubber latex and are electronically tested one by one. Its ink does not contain any ingredients that may cause allergic reactions.

I would appreciate it if one of my male readers try this out and get back to me with the size of your woody.

The Unpure "ga-maling" seeker,



xx I had a massage earlier and it was divine. So divine that I fell asleep a few minutes after the masseuse started kneading on my shoulders and back. I rarely sleep when I call for home-serviced massages for fear that they might steal something from me the moment I close my eyes. Thank God my 14-inch TV is still here! Hahah!

xx I have been writing technical articles as a 'sideline' for over a month now. They have given me another project recently - 18 articles due in 5 days. Social life has been nada for a week because of this. I like that they have given me diverse topics - from Data Governance to Money Markets to Giving a Woman the best orgasm ever! Hehe! Yes, I'm not kidding. I had a hard time conjuring up ideas about the 'O' part because I have always been on the receiving end of things. I have (and never will) not given any woman an orgasm - in whichever way, shape or form LOL!

xx I mixed a slice of banana in a glass full of Coffee-crumble flavored icecream and topped it with Chocolate syrup. My own version of banana split. Yum!

xx I need to get an NBI clearance soon because it's one of the requirements to get a Chinese Visa! Acccck! I don't want to fall in line in City Hall. The line's too long and it's too hot. Sigh. 

xx  I feel horny and weird. I think I'm about to get my period.

The Unpure One,


[Photo courtesy of:]

Sunday, May 2, 2010


I have seen a decent improvement in the number of hits since I started this blog December of last year and when I did a historical background of my posts that gathered the most views, I learned that the article was either sex-related or beauty and wellness-related. Because of this, I will start a new segment here where I'll feature products and/or services that I find amazing (or not). 

DISCLAIMER: I will only recommend products/services that I have personally tried/availed to ensure an honest-to-goodness review.

We are vain creatures - men, women, men who want men, women who want women, men who want other men's women... LOL! You get the drift, right? Whether we admit it or not, we are very much particular about our skin and our over-all look.

I am not gifted with good skin.  In fact, I have uneven blotches on some parts of my face. Maybe because of sun exposure (without sunblock) or maybe because of shitty products I've used in the past (goodbye hydroquinone). It's a good thing that there was someone smart and vain enough to invent the concealer! Thank goodness for concealers! LOL! You're a definite lifesaver. Hahaha!

I have recently been introduced to this line of facial product that is not yet officially released in the market. When I learned that this product didn't have hydroquinone, I sort of fell in love with it from the get-go. I started using it just today and I will update you every once in awhile once I see results.

So for the meantime, just sit back, relax and don't forget to put sunblock while you're at it.

The Unpure Guinea Pig,