Yes, you read it right! I raped the year that was! I forayed into every single opportunity that life sent my way. I claimed my place. I took it sitting down, standing up, even sideways! Haha! I lived the life last 2009!
I started it right by sharing my blessings in this nursing home near my place. Oh how I miss them! I would definitely go back this year to share with them what little I have.
I learned to control my shopping urges. Oh yes, it was hard! But I did it. Yebah!
I got back in school. And I'm loving it.
I (think) have been more responsible and more feisty at work.
I have been more open and social the past few months. Work hard, party harder. :)
I have been a good sister to my sibs and a good daughter to my folks. (at least I would like to think so)
I went to Singapore and Thailand. Learned about their culture. Though it left me almost penniless, I feel that traveling brings about a lot of priceless memories.
2009 was a good year. One of my best years actually. I owe it to the Man upstairs! Thanks for watching over me.
Now hold still as I am not done yet. I will ravish 2010! I will take it by the arm, lay it on the bed and kiss it with much ardor and passion! Yes, I will make 2010 an even better year for me! I will not bore you with New Year's resolutions that never happen. I will just shock you and surprise you. Watch out 2010, I am comingggggg!
(Photo credit at onset: http://rinalie.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.jpg)
I have taken the sabbatical and was out of the office from December 23 to 28. A lot of things happened in those 5 days, I don't even know where to begin. I just don't have the heart to delve into details. But all I can say about my current state of affairs is that I FEEL LIKE SHIT!
Whew! It's nice to let it out. It has always been easy for me to trust people too much because I still view the world through half-full eyes. No matter how many times I hear depressing news on the telly, or how my friends tell me about their depressing love affairs, I would like to believe that there is still some good left in this world. I still believe that there are more good people out there. I still believe in happy endings. I think that being too trusting of people will lead to my downfall. But I just can't help it. I am a sucker for all things good and positive.
Well, I think I have run out of positive vibes in the last few days. It's not that I am depressed (because I am NOT). It's just that I feel disheartened when you let people in your life and they fuck you (literally and figuratively, Ha!Ha!) up BIG TIME! I don't even know how some people end up being such mean machines.
So anyway, I would like to stay in this state for awhile. I want to be all bluesy and sad for the remaining days of the year because it is in days like these that I feel human. It makes everything real. Reality bites. Though I just had my big-sized serving of reality, I am still looking forward to a dessert devoid of negativity and pessimism. Yes, I can't help it.
I trust people too much and I forgive easily too. Shot me in the head if you will, but this is how I am wired. I can't stay mad for someone so long. I don't like to harbor negative feelings in my heart. The world is just too good for that. The same way that I am way too good for stuck-ups, and emotionally challenged men.
Today is one of those days where I feel soooooo excited that my hands get clammy and my stomach has more than just butterflies in it. No, I am not pregnant nor am I on drugs. It's just that today is a very special day for me. You know the excitement that you get out of sky-diving, or bungee jumping, or anal sex? Hahaha! That is how excited and hard-core I am feeling right now.
I know I am being vague, but please just bear with me. I need to let this out or else I'll go nuts. :) You know when you come across something so good and you feel that it's all a dream? When you feel so connected to the universe but it is just way too good to be true? Well, I have been in one of those dreams one too many times.
And today is the day that I am finally waking up! I am waking up to this dream and hoping that the reality is just as good. I am not expecting for anything straight out of a 'Casablanca' movie or a 'Romeo and Juliet' novel. I am not expecting for anything actually. I am just taking things as it comes. (but of course a little pizzaz is welcome.)
So for now, I am letting the universe run its course. Like a person about to skydive off to nothingness, I will be in it for the ride and will try to enjoy as much view, as much air and as much magic as it will serve me.
I have been working in the same department for close to 4 years now and I can pretty much tell you that we are one big crazy, solid bunch. Regardless of how toxic our work is, and how we sometimes unintentionally irritate each other, we still feel blessed that we were given a wonderful year full of trials and triumphs. It's in these trials that we witnessed how bonded and supportive we are of each other. One team, one goal! I love it!
Because of bandwidth, we didn't have the luxury of time to plan an out-of-the-office Christmas get-together so we just settled for the next best thing..... the Office Pantry! Hahaha!
The party was set at 7pm but my sexy-arse arrived at 8:30pm! TSK! NOTE TO SELF: I should go and buy myself a dozen alarm clocks. Some of the people decked in the morning shift have already gone home the time that I arrived. Oh well, they missed my 'pancit' and 'lechon'! :)
That's my officemate, Mica. She was sweet enough to get me the 'Lip and Cheek Tint' that I have been eyeing for for the longest time. Kisses to you dearie! Pardon the plastic and the pizza box in the background. Haha!
Of course, the night would not be complete without taking a picture by the office Christmas tree! Ha! Look at us looking all pretty and smiling. I love it! Of course, I have the brightest smile of all. :) It would have been better if we were complete in this picture. But oh well, till next time, i guess.
And lastly, it was also Mitch's last day in the office. Sigh. I will miss you Mitchieboo. Keep in touch!
(That's JULIE* in green, Mitch in the middle and yours truly in stripes. LOL)
*JULIE is my sister and at the same time we work in the same department. How coolio, right?
I am still at home while I am writing this but I will go to my folk's place in a bit to spend my Christmas there. Will update you on our Christmas family dinner tonight. Hoping that everyone will be with their loved-ones on this very special day!
I have always been a fan of Grey’s Anatomy. For whatever it’s worth, I try to keep abreast with the latest episodes week after week. I do have to admit that the stories are sometimes way too cheesy, way too crappy and overtly melodramatic. BUT isn’t that how life really is?
I always await the character’s quotable quotes in as much as the content of the story. It gives us realistic points of view about life, love and everything in between. There was one particular episode when they were talking about borders and going beyond your limits.
At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.
This statement gave me a light-bulb moment. I have crossed a dozen boundaries in my lifetime - some good, some bad. I have come across a lot of circumstances where I had to make a decision to whether get to the other side or stay. Life is tough. And it is only up to us if we want to make it tougher.
I have always believed that it is okay to cross boundaries sometimes. To take chances. To go where your instinct tells you. Not because you are trying to defy rules but because you want to take a leap of faith. You will never know that the grass is greener at the other side not unless you go there and check it yourself. Crossing boundaries should come with great maturity. You have to be matured enough to accept the product of your own doing. If the other side of the fence isn’t as promising as you hoped it would be then you have no one to blame but yourself. You can either wallow in self-pity or charge it to experience. You cannot always trust and believe that life turns out your way. Accepting these truths does not make you a cynic. This is what I call – positive pessimism.
There are boundaries that require you to bend your rules a little – a little tweak, a little pull, a little tug. Just a little. But if you feel that crossing certain boundaries would have you bending your principles over backwards, then that is the time to pull the strings to a stop. We should always push ourselves to be the best person we can be but not at the expense of our morals. Our morals and values provide us with our character, our foundation.
What’s good about crossing borders is it gives you the option to go back. You can go back to the life that was, bringing with you the lessons that you have learned from crossing the other side.
So you ask me which side have I been of late? Hmmmm.. I’ve gone to both sides and back. I have seen the other side. I found my pseudo-sanctity when I crossed the other side. I got my groove back. I found my temporary dose of sanity when I crossed the border.
But did I find peace and contentment? No. Did I regret crossing it? No.I believe that we should never aim for contentment. Happiness is the only thing worth aspiring for. I stand by what I wrote that when things don’t go your way, you just have to charge it to experience.I have learned a lot about myself and about the things that I want my future self to be. I have learned a lot about self-respect and about putting a pricetag on yourself – that you should never settle for less than what you are worth.
I don’t regret crossing sides. While it was fun and dangerous, I need something more stable and sane.
I was actually too lazy to get out of bed but I just had to have a haircut as my hair looks so terrible. The ends, arrrrrrggggghhhhhhh! I look like friziness-personified! Hahaha! Of course, I was exaggerating a bit. (or maybe not! LOL)
Anyway, I'm a complete cheapo so there's this salon near the corner where I live, that caught my cheapo eyes. It read: HAIRCUT Php 35. I think I heard my heart do a double flip! What the fudge, right? It's uberly cheap, just the way I like it. So i made a mental note days before to give this salon a try.
Fast forward to a lazy Sunday morning, I finally managed to haul myself out of my kingdom and have a haircut. When I got there, I suddenly felt like my hair could also use a little haircolor, highlights and cellophane. Damn! It's hard to be a girl sometimes. So, instead of the Php 35 cut that I thought was dirt-cheap, I ended up shelving Php 1,500! Hahahaha! Too much for being a cheapo. TSK!
Well, I was actually happy with the result. I used a darker base then my highlight was a bit yellow-ish on the colorscale. I had to consult with the stylist every once in a while just to make sure that the highlights dont turn out too yellow that I'd look like a blonde-wanna-be. :) Thank goodness, the highlights turned out just fine. (actually it still needed a little more yellow-ing. But it's better than overdoing it.)
Being the youngest in a brood of four, you can pretty much consider me as the spoiled brat in the family in the sense that I always want things to go my way. Anyhow, as time goes by, I realize that not all I want in life I can get in a snap.
I have been living independently for 2 years now...ü it's a very fulfilling life experience yet it is not an easy one... There's the Nike shoes that I have to forego because I have to pay the rent... the sleek black dress that I have to say goodbye to... and a million of other material things that I have to do without...
The first few months were really scary because I didnt know how to cook, wash the dishes or even iron my own clothes! I still remember the time when I cannot even perfect a sunny side-up for Christsakes! Hehehe! All these things I have to learn on my own... I started with the staple Adobo and worked my way up to making a mean Chopsuey! ü Hahahah! I still have my few kitchen booboos to date but what the heck! When all else fails, there's always the trusted array of "Kangguds" I can gobble up! =p
There are times when I miss the comfort of hearing my mom's "pagbubunganga" (translate - incessant noise. Just in case I have foreign readers. As if!) ... my dad's strict ways... the times when my sister and I would fight about who would wear which blouse... the quirky little ways of my nieces...
Odd as it may sound but I have never felt much closer to my family than when I moved out of the house... There's really truth to the saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"... ü Yeah right!
At this point in my life, I have learned that there are alot of other things more valuable than clothes, shoes and what-nots... The independence and all the lessons that come with solo-living (or is it living-solo) is really priceless..
Slowly... but surely, I think I am finally getting to the Road to Maturity. ü
A person's "firsts" are always historical. They are beyond spectacular. Magnanimous even. I still remember some of my "firsts". Yes, even with my 'alzheimer-ish' memory, I still remember some of them. :)
I still remember my first crush. The poor guy's name is Hearty. Ha! He was my classmate back in Grade 1. He was also my escort when I joined this kiddie-beauty pageant in school.
I still remember my first night-out. It was at a pizza-bistro-slash-bar somewhere along West Avenue. I was with my mom, bro and sis. How harmless and family-oriented right! I think I got to sip beer that night too! The family that drinks together, gets drunk together. Haha!
My first taste of the forbidden drug. I still remember that. And I tell you, Drugs aren't for me. Seriously. To all my kiddie readers (as if I have followers at all, duh!), don't take drugs. They are bad for the health. See, I think my slightly-neurotic-bordering-to-psychotic attitude was because of that one single dose of Ecstasy, and Mogs and K. So If you don't want to be like me, please please please, for the love of Life, do not take drugs!
My first (and last) trip to the psychiatrist. I can still vividly remember how rotten I felt during that phase of my life. You see, I wasn't always the good girl that I project myself to be. Haha! I was once a rebel during my teen-age years. Like who isnt, right?! I know you too had your rebellious moments when you were young. Admit it! And so anyway, I went there because my folks thought there was something seriously and majorly wrong with me. Hehe. A few loose screws here and there. The doctor didnt do me any good at all. I guess it was just willpower and the support of family and friends that got me back on track. So No, i am never stepping foot in a looney's clinic again. Ever. (I could always take it back, you know.)
My first out-of-the-country trip. Yeah, I still remember fondly how I felt the moment I stepped foot on foreign soil. I spent Chinese New Year's in Hongkong and boy was it fun! I also got to go and spend a day in Disneyland! Too bad I wasnt able to take a picture with my favorite cartoon of all, Piglet. Tsk! I will definitely go back just for that.
So now that I have shared some of my "first's" with you, I welcome you all to my first blogpost. You will be witness to my "seconds" and "thirds" and "fourths".... I will share with you whatever experiences I go through, good or bad, in the hopes that you will learn a lesson or two. Or if you didnt pick up any lesson at all, at least I made you busy for awhile just by amusing you with my post!
