I AM.

I have always been a fan of Grey’s Anatomy. For whatever it’s worth, I try to keep abreast with the latest episodes week after week. I do have to admit that the stories are sometimes way too cheesy, way too crappy and overtly melodramatic. BUT isn’t that how life really is?

I always await the character’s quotable quotes in as much as the content of the story. It gives us realistic points of view about life, love and everything in between. There was one particular episode when they were talking about borders and going beyond your limits.

At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

This statement gave me a light-bulb moment. I have crossed a dozen boundaries in my lifetime - some good, some bad. I have come across a lot of circumstances where I had to make a decision to whether get to the other side or stay. Life is tough. And it is only up to us if we want to make it tougher.

I have always believed that it is okay to cross boundaries sometimes. To take chances. To go where your instinct tells you. Not because you are trying to defy rules but because you want to take a leap of faith. You will never know that the grass is greener at the other side not unless you go there and check it yourself. Crossing boundaries should come with great maturity. You have to be matured enough to accept the product of your own doing. If the other side of the fence isn’t as promising as you hoped it would be then you have no one to blame but yourself. You can either wallow in self-pity or charge it to experience. You cannot always trust and believe that life turns out your way. Accepting these truths does not make you a cynic. This is what I call – positive pessimism.

There are boundaries that require you to bend your rules a little – a little tweak, a little pull, a little tug. Just a little. But if you feel that crossing certain boundaries would have you bending your principles over backwards, then that is the time to pull the strings to a stop. We should always push ourselves to be the best person we can be but not at the expense of our morals. Our morals and values provide us with our character, our foundation.

What’s good about crossing borders is it gives you the option to go back. You can go back to the life that was, bringing with you the lessons that you have learned from crossing the other side.

So you ask me which side have I been of late? Hmmmm.. I’ve gone to both sides and back. I have seen the other side. I found my pseudo-sanctity when I crossed the other side. I got my groove back. I found my temporary dose of sanity when I crossed the border.

But did I find peace and contentment? No. Did I regret crossing it? No. I believe that we should never aim for contentment. Happiness is the only thing worth aspiring for. I stand by what I wrote that when things don’t go your way, you just have to charge it to experience. I have learned a lot about myself and about the things that I want my future self to be. I have learned a lot about self-respect and about putting a pricetag on yourself – that you should never settle for less than what you are worth.

I don’t regret crossing sides. While it was fun and dangerous, I need something more stable and sane.